Last night wasn’t the best night for me. It was rather unpleasant. You see, I run a small group on Facebook for veterans with PTSD. This group is mostly vets but also contains a few family members who support and love us such as wives, parents, an aunt, and a couple close friends of members. Yesterday we lost a member. He didn’t pass away, he was unfortunately removed from the group. It was not a decision I made lightly, in fact it was one that I had put off for some time.
You see, I have this issue, for better and worse, of being overly forgiving. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Especially when it comes to this group of veterans. After all, we have PTSD, many also suffer the effects of TBI. There are bad days for everyone. Some have bad weeks or months. We are a family. We accept that we’re not all going to be best friends but we try to support each other the best we can.
Unfortunately, last night it went past the realm of giving the benefit of doubt. It got to the point of being abusive. Leveling threats. Hurting other members. I could no longer make excuses or find reasons for another ‘chance’. It came down to choosing to protect those I have come to care about.
I am sure there will be some who do not agree with the choice I made and that’s understandable, but I hope they will understand why I made my decision. It wasn’t made lightly. It pains me to know this individual needed more help than we could offer. It hurts to imagine how he must be feeling. Someone who lashes out the way he did generally only does so because they are hurting more than they can bear.
If he’s reading this, I hope he knows that I forgive him and wish him only the best. I also hopes he’s able to reach out to those who love him and allow them to help him. I have had several members approach me about the situation and I have simply asked each of them to pray for this man.